Username:

Password:

Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: My first ASFR story  (Read 1964 times)
mangoman
Medusa Golden Knight
**
Posts: 440


Sekikumo
WWW Email
« on: December 29, 2012, 02:33:18 AM »

Hi all.  I've been a member of the community for a while, but have only ever really lurked or answered the odd question here and there.  But I've decided that will end today, as I post my very first ASFR story to these very forums!  Truth be told I write stories in my head all the time, but once they reach their -ahem- climax, I tend not to be in the mood to write them down.

Anyway, what I am posting is the first few parts of what will likely be a very long series.  It is in the form of those old school choose your own adventure stories, told in the second person.  The main difference being in those stories "you" the player character was usually a blank slate. That of course is no fun when what I want is to put pretty girls in ASFR peril situations, so for the purpose of the story "you" are a woman who has a concrete physical description.  Might be slightly jarring but that's just a function of the format.

The basic premise is that the player character wakes up trapped in a coffin with another woman in the deepest pits of a vast labyrinth controller by an evil sorceress.  Will you manage to escape alive? Almost certainly not!  But the fun's in the trying (and failing)! 

The story is attached to this post.  Basic rules of the format - when you reach a point in the story with a choice each choice will have a number after it.  Scroll down to that number (or when there's more than 5 entries do a find command for the number) to read the next part.  For ease of use choices with a "!" will result in a game over, while ones with a "x" mean I haven't written that choice yet. 

Feedback is of course welcome!  Going forward I'd like suggestions on what format to put the story in.  Text documents are probably not the best way to do it since despite the fact that we put a man on the moon decades ago we still can't quite agree on a way to send text to one another electronically while retaining super complicated stuff like line breaks and paragraphs.  Posting the story in forum posts is no better, of course.  If anyone knows some good free (and cross platform, since I'm on a Mac usually) software to make like visual novels that would be cool.  Otherwise I might just get a blog somewhere and make each "page" of the story a separate post, or maybe do something on Deviantart.  Either way, please read the story so far and leave some comments, if you would!

edit: posted the story so far on Deviantart for now. Never used it before, so I'm still working on figuring out how to get everything to work. A link to my gallery:
http://sekikumo.deviantart.com/
« Last Edit: December 29, 2012, 11:22:00 AM by mangoman » Logged
mangoman
Medusa Golden Knight
**
Posts: 440


Sekikumo
WWW Email
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2013, 05:29:46 PM »

The story is up to nine chapters now, for anyone who is interested.  No point posting it in this thread (unless someone has a problem with deviantart and wants to see it here?), so go on over to DA if you want to read it.  The story starts here:
http://sekikumo.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d5po3tv

Please feel free to leave comments here or on the individual chapters on DA.  Any and all commentary is appreciated, thanks!
Logged
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to: